Friday, 7 December 2012

Writing Challenge: 'Why did we come here?'

Some of you might know that how much I love writing. I've been participating in a writing community for a while now, which is aimed at young writers (Go Teen Writers), besides the site they have a great Facebook community as well.

One of the parts of the community is the writing challenges they have. You get a subject/line on which you have to write a small part with a maximum amount of words. The last one, in which I participated as well, had as a subject 'Why did we come here?' You had to use that line and you could write a maximum of 110 words, those were the only restrictions.

Today I received my feedback on the piece and I would love to hear more feedback on it from you guys to improve my writing. Unfortunately I didn't make the top 20, but the more it stimulates to keep on improving my writing!

‘Why did we come here?’ I asked him for the second time, but still he remained silent. I let my eyes wander, just for a second, over the high dangerous chalk-cliffs that stood off against the green of the peaceful forest that we had left behind. I turned back to Damien to face him. ‘Why did we come here?’ I demanded for the third time now. He looked up at me, his face as cold as the chalk-cliffs facing me along with him. ‘Don’t talk, walk.’ He demanded as he pushed me towards cliffs that held the secret of my fate.

The feedback I got on it was that A) the description was very good, but that B) I used repetitive words. I know I've had that feedback before and it seems to be something I do quite often when writing. Does any of you have any other suggestios/remarks on it or tips to avoid repetitive writing, let me know!


  1. I like it. It makes me curious for more! I do understand the feedback they gave you.
    I think that maybe I would've liked something more. I know that 110 words isn't a lot. I can't really explain what I'm missing :P
    Did you get to read all the other entries and their feedback? Maybe you can get something out of that?

    1. Thanks Joyce! I did got to read a few from those who've posted them online as well. They are indeed a help as well :)

  2. Ohhh I like it! Makes me curious for more :p The feedback is understandable. I don't really have anything to add though xD